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DO YOU WANT A LIFE OF SUCCESS OR OF SIGNIFICANCE?

6/30/2015

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As men and women, it seems like in the earlier stages of our adult lives we spend a lot of time trying to define and find success.  Aren’t some of the measuring sticks things like…

·      Our job and how much we make?
·      What kind of cars and house do we have?
·      How well our kids are doing in sports, etc?
·      What kind of toys can we afford?
·      And the list goes on.

·      And before long it’s time for the kids to go to college. 
·      Where’s the money going to come from?
·      What’s happening to my family?

Isn’t life and ‘success’ in our society typically about comparing ourselves to our buddies or other families?  What do they think of us?  Am I keeping up?  How is my family doing?  Am I winning the game of life or am I losing?  Has it become a ‘rat-race’ just trying to find success?   Actually, what is success?  Are you beginning to think, “Is this all there is to life?”

If you are in ‘mid-life’ or beyond, have you started thinking about what you want the rest of your life to look like?  Are you happy with where you are at now and on a path that you feel good about?  If so, good for you.  

On the other hand, if you aren’t feeling all that good about staying in the status quo, would it be worthwhile for you to take a step back and begin thinking about the future?  What do you hope your life looks like in 5, 10, or 20 years?   


If this is striking a cord for you and you haven’t done so already, you may want to click here to receive your complimentary “10 Steps to Finding Purpose (Significance) and Joy”


CLICK TO RECEIVE YOUR COMPLIMENTARY "10 STEPS TO FINDING PURPOSE AND JOY"
CLICK HERE TO LEARN ABOUT THE BOOK "FINDING PURPOSE AND JOY, IT'S A JOURNEY"
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WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?

6/22/2015

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 “LISTEN FIRST”


Many times when we have an issue with another person, if we decide to approach them, isn’t it natural to want to just let them know how we feel?  Because there is a conflict, what we say probably will come across as a criticism or attack on the other person since it’s obvious that they see things differently, right?  Then if you do that, what typically happens next?  Don’t most humans get a bit defensive when they feel like they are being criticized or attacked?  Your action likely prompts them to react back as a defense mechanism.  The next thing you know, you’re volleying barbs back and forth in a fashion that escalates because of emotion.  You end up blaming each other because ‘they just won’t listen’ and the original issue blows up, gets personal, and you may even forget what the original issue was. 

It’s been said that since we all have 2 ears and one mouth, if we use them in that proportion, we’ll have much richer relationships.  There is another saying that goes like this, “A person doesn’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”.  Think about it for a moment.  Do you think that these statements are true?  Is there a connection between these two thoughts?  It seems to me that the connection is that when we truly listen to others with understanding, they begin to believe that we really do care about them.  And then they become interested in what we think as well.  The result is trust being built and the relationship is enhanced.

Take a minute right now and think about a relationship that you have that is a bit strained.  What do you think will happen if you slow down and take the time to really understand their perspective without judgment?  Isn’t it likely that they will draw closer and perhaps even become interested in learning more about your perspective?

To enhance your relationships, doesn’t it make sense to “Always try to understand another person's perspective before sharing your perspective?”


CLICK TO RECEIVE YOUR COMPLIMENTARY "10 STEPS TO FINDING PURPOSE AND JOY"
CLICK HERE TO BUY BOOK FROM AMAZON.COM
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IF SOMEONE LOSES, DOES ANYONE REALLY WIN?

6/1/2015

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It has been said that competition when carried to extreme is one of the top causes of troubles in relationships.  This manifests itself by one or both of the parties feeling the need to ‘WIN’ or ‘BE RIGHT’, doesn’t it? Why do you think that is? Isn’t it because of our pride and ego?  And when one feels like they have won, how does the other feel?  Typically they feel like they lost.  Or if one party just ‘gives in’ to appease the other party, sooner or later they are likely to feel like the doormat and hold a grudge, aren’t they?

When you find yourself involved in a disagreement, have you ever stopped to think that just as you think the other party is wrong, most times, they believe that you are the one that is wrong?  And you know what?  There is a really good chance that both you and the other party are right about some things and also a really good chance that you are both wrong about some things.

One of the top lessons that I have been coming to grips with over the past several years is that it is not OK to end up with ‘win/lose’ results . . . as much as it depends on me.  It is far better to take the extra time to see if there is a solution that both parties can feel pretty good about and walk away from the table feeling like it ended up being a win-win situation.  Stephen Covey coined the phrase, ‘Fast is slow and slow is fast’.  If we try to try to rush through situations, they are very slow to develop.  On the other hand, if we take our time to work through situations striving to find win-win solutions, we develop strong bonds of trust that allow us to be able to work through things faster in the future because we trust each other.

Would you take a couple of minutes right now to consider any of your relationships that may be out of sync?  Would it be helpful for you to slow down and try to learn to other person’s perspective even if you don’t agree with it?  Then would you be willing to humble yourself to dialog with them to find a win-win scenario?  Or if that just doesn’t seem possible, would you be willing to simply agree to disagree but do it in a respectful way? Do you really have to be right or to win?  What value do you place on your relationship?


CLICK TO RECEIVE YOUR COMPLIMENTARY "10 STEPS TO FINDING PURPOSE AND JOY"
CLICK HERE TO BUY BOOK FROM AMAZON.COM
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    Roger Laidig

    Since his retirement in 2011, Roger Laidig has been filled with the desire to help people find Purpose and Joy in life.

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