I read this perspective recently on Facebook of all places. Doesn't it seem like it is really important to understand? And wouldn't the result be a lot more happy couples and far less broken marriages?
"Marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children and grand children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
And couldn't this principle apply to having or adopting children as well?
Over the years it has become clear to me that there is one need that is common to all of mankind. What do you think that need is? While there probably could be more than one answer, the one that I’ve observed the most is this.
We all deeply desire 'TO BE VALUED AND UNDERSTOOD’.
For the purpose of this blog, are you OK with agreeing that this is a great desire for nearly all of us? If so, doesn’t it make sense that if another feels validated by us that our relationship with that person will be become very strong if we are diligent in living out this principle? With this in mind, it seems to me that the key to great relationships is for us to listen first to make sure that we fully understand the other person deeply. When another person knows that we care about them enough to hear them out without judgment, what do you think that will do to the trust they begin having in us? Try it. When done with consistency over the course of time, the results are magical.
In future blogs we’ll be talking more about this principle. So to summarize this blog…
“LISTEN FIRST, The Magical Key to Great Relationships”