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EGO IS ONE OF THE GREATEST BLIND SPOTS IN OUR WESTERN CULTURE THAT ADVERSELY AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS

7/19/2016

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During the past 10 years I’ve had more time and opportunity to reflect on blind spots in my life that I never saw or understood.  While I continue to see more blind spots as my journey continues, one of my greatest ones has been my ego manifested by ‘my need to be right’ or ‘to win’.  Retrospectively I now see how counterproductive that was to developing really good relationships built on trust.
 
So how about you?  How do you handle it when another person such as your wife of co-worker disagrees with you and you simply can’t find a place of agreement?  While it’s best to take more time to try to understand the other person’s viewpoint, sometimes in the short term it may be better to simply agree to disagree but still respect each other.   When we are willing to do this it allows emotions to settle down and enhances peace in the relationship.  If you’re not already doing it, give it a try.  Isn’t there a much better chance that long-term results will improve when you continue to value the other person?  And if you look at it from the other direction, don’t you also appreciate when the other person values you even though you may disagree?   (Admittedly some may feel that there may be exceptions when this whole approach gets ‘Trumped’ :-)

HUMILITY & MATURITY:  The ability to agree to disagree and still have respect for another 

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WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES?

7/12/2016

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There are times when there are circumstances in our lives that we have absolutely no ability to control.  Such things include…
  • What other people think and say about us
  • The weather and natural disasters
  • Wars and tragic events in our country and the world
  • The list goes on and on
 
So what is the best way to approach such situations?  On one hand, we could stress out and worry excessively.  But seriously, think about it.  Since we can’t control those things, what good does it do to spend time and negative energy obsessing?  On the other hand, we could stop and think “Is there anything that I can do to positively influence the situation?”  If so, by all means shouldn’t we do those things to the best of our ability?  At least you can have some peace knowing that you’ve done all you can do.
 
Here are a few simple examples…
  • If a hail storm is definitely heading your way, put your vehicles under shelter
  • If another person criticizes you, listen to see if there is any truth, and if so, then work on that. But also, realize that their criticism is simply their opinion.  And realize that cruel criticism says a whole lot more about the attacker than it does you.  Don’t give anyone the permission to cruelly rob your joy.
  • If terrible events happening in the world depress you, maybe it would be a good idea to stop watching CNN or Fox News.  Then simply focus on how your conversations will affect people that you may influence.  Would it be better to focus on the negative that you have no control over?  Or to spend time focusing on things to be thankful for and positive things that you can do?
 
When you get past that stage, wouldn’t it be best to have faith in God that He has a plan that is infinitely greater than ours even to the point the He can use what we think is terrible but in the end it really turns out to be good.  Even if it doesn’t turn out good in our eyes, how would it affect us if we obey the teaching “Be anxious for nothing but thankful for everything, through faith, we’ll be given peace in our hearts and minds”?
 
In the end, isn’t our peace and joy really a function of our attitude as to how we choose to handle adversity. 
 
AND OUR ATTITUDE IS THE ONE THING THAT WE CAN CONTROL AS WE MATURE isn’t it?  And it’s our choice.  Why not choose peace and joy instead of stress?
 

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    Roger Laidig

    Since his retirement in 2011, Roger Laidig has been filled with the desire to help people find Purpose and Joy in life.

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