I read this perspective recently on Facebook of all places. Doesn't it seem like it is really important to understand? And wouldn't the result be a lot more happy couples and far less broken marriages?
"Marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children and grand children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
And couldn't this principle apply to having or adopting children as well?